Still no sleep.

I keep trying, but I guess I still have some anxiety over the pain in my abdomen. I just don't know what it is, and it's starting to make me panic a bit, I think. When it hurts as I'm trying to fall asleep, I start thinking of all of the things it could be, and then I can't sleep anymore. It's easy to let your fears get out of control, just as easy as it is to let your sadness take hold.

But I can try to get an appointment with my doctor soon, I have to wait and call the office tomorrow. Then lose sleep as I wait for the appointment, then panic as I wait for test results . . . I'm sure I won't be sleeping for a while.

Then I think I hear my son cry during the night, like his injection site is bothering him. I think maybe the Tylenol wore off, and he needs a new dose. But he slept fine, and took some Tylenol this morning. He's playing and rambunctious, as usual. But the mom instincts don't stop, the worry finds it's way into my daily life for a full 24 hours a day.

This is my definition of motherhood, by the way. Motherhood: A state of constant and intense worry, punctuated by moments of unimaginable emotional bliss. That's really what it is to me. The unprecedented bliss is what I live for, and it's worth all of the worry.

Well, that's my rambling for the day. Hope to hear from some people out there, just so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself or lost in cyberspace. No pressure, though. When you're ready. :)

Till then, take care. Blog ya later.

R