I tell ya, yesterday I had a terrifying moment where I thought it was Thursday. ACK! C didn't help at all, he told me today would be Friday and let me sulk for a while before he admitted it would be Saturday. I was too tired yesterday to even know what day it was. I had done tons of laundry, washed and folded, picked up toys, made the beds, washed dishes, etc. I was exhausted. The only thing that got me through it all was thinking, "Tomorrow is Saturday, tomorrow is Saturday." When I thought it wasn't, I got really bummed. But obviously today is Saturday after all.
We didn't do much, but we did go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch, where I met a mom of a 3-year-old who was also new to the area. She gave me lots of ideas for places to go with E, even her phone number so we could get together. One of the best ideas, I thought, that she told me about was a preschool craft class at Michael's that's only 2 bucks, including supplies. That's right up my alley, I tell ya. And I'd love to get E interested in art. It's something that he and I could enjoy together. Sounds like fun.
Then we went grocery shopping, came home, and I crashed for a long nap. My dog slept by my side, something that always makes me feel extra cozy, and also makes it extra hard to get up. C finally woke me, and said it was getting late. Then we put some more knobs on our cabinets and ate dinner. Well, sort of. I just ate a bagel with strawberry cream cheese, a Weight Watchers ice cream bar, and a small WW chocolate cake. I guess I just felt like having sweets or something. So that's what I ate. Stuck to my points nonetheless.
Well, as far as events, this weekend was slow. But I've still been feeling like I want something, but I don't know what it is. I also feel like something is wrong that hasn't been diagnosed. Two feelings that have been leaving me feeling distracted and preoccupied. Perhaps I'll go to my doctor before my next appointment, just for some peace of mind. I don't know if I can take it much longer, knowing there is a diagnosis to be made . . . I guess. I guess something is wrong. I don't know. But I feel like I know for sure that there is something. Doctors always make me feel like a hypochondriac or a worrier, which drives me nuts. I've been right before, when they've all been wrong. I guess I'm not looking forward to the possibility of an all-out battle over my health care. I've been there, and it took a lot out of me physically and mentally. I formed a lot of my opinions about doctors and the medical community during that ordeal. I'm sure a lot of people out there know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, guess I'll go take my meds and do some reading or something. Try to relax. Take care, all, and I'll be back soon for more mindless babbling.
Laters,
R
Showing posts with label doctors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doctors. Show all posts
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Thursday, February 8, 2007
What's Wrong With Me?
I just can't seem to get anything done lately. I can't even get my s**t together enough to leave the house. I wouldn't say I'm procrastinating exactly, but something like it. I'm not consciously trying to get out of doing thing I need to do, but somehow they aren't getting done. Part of me is thinking of all the things I need to do, another part is trying to prioritize, and yet another is saying, "You don't need to do that right this minute!" So nothing gets done. Nothing. I didn't even take a shower until 4 o'clock this afternoon. And I didn't mop, didn't do any dishes, didn't do any laundry, didn't paint, didn't blog, didn't exercise . . . Didn't anything.
I think in some ways I feel preoccupied. All I can think about is that I have an undiagnosed health condition. If it isn't the cyst on my ovary causing the pain in my abdoment, what is it? What else is wrong with me? What symptoms have I overlooked? Are the symptoms I have related at all, or separate conditions? The hair loss I've been having was diagnosed as a symptom of stress, since my TSH was normal. But is it? Am I still stressed out enough after moving to a new city and getting my medications in order? Or is it now hair loss due to some other condition?
Sometimes it feels like my blood sugar has dropped suddenly and I feel weak and shaky, even dizzy. Yet, if I eat, the feeling is still there. I once had my blood pressure drop while I was getting a blood test done during pregnancy, and it feels sort of like that, but I don't have a way to verify that it's low blood pressure. I did feel faint Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Then it goes away. The pain in my abdomen, although subtle, is still there. It's obvious when I bend over sometimes, or after the exams I've had when someone was pressing all over my belly and pelvis. It doesn't get worse usually, just persists. So, is it something, or nothing? When is it okay to be concerned, and when do you just tell yourself you're being a hypochondriac and to relax.
I have to be concerned in some ways, mostly because it was my own persistence that got me a hypothyroidism diagnosis. I KNEW something had been wrong with me, but no doctors I saw would ever persue it. They would give me antibiotics or else tell me it's viral and there's nothing that can be done. I told one doctor that I felt like I had been sick an awfully long time and I was worried, and he just told me, "Yeah, sometimes it just hits you all at once." That's another reason it was so tough for me to leave my doctor in San Antonio, since he listened, had great intuition, and always followed through to a diagnosis. He was great. I hope my new doctor won't give up on me.
At the very least, test me until I'm sure there really isn't anything wrong.
Anyway, I am feeling a bit stressed. E has been cranky all afternoon, fussy, crying, and demanding. I guess I was due for it. He had been a real sweetiepie for days in a row this week. Just a picture perfect little boy. Gotta earn those mom wages, though.
Maybe relieving some stress will help with the weight loss I missed out on this week. I've been sticking to the plan and doing my best, but I still haven't been able to find time to exercise. Mostly I'm just imagining it will be like all the times past when E would intervene, literally tackle me to the floor, take my exercise equipment, cry until I was finished or turned of the DVD . . . It's hard to make myself ready to deal with that as well as the exercising itself. Whew . . . I'm stressed out just thinking about it.
Well, wrists and fingers getting tired. I should probably go. Maybe I'll have a warm beverage this evening and cozy up to my husband. Sounds nice.
Later, peeps. Come back again! :)
R
I think in some ways I feel preoccupied. All I can think about is that I have an undiagnosed health condition. If it isn't the cyst on my ovary causing the pain in my abdoment, what is it? What else is wrong with me? What symptoms have I overlooked? Are the symptoms I have related at all, or separate conditions? The hair loss I've been having was diagnosed as a symptom of stress, since my TSH was normal. But is it? Am I still stressed out enough after moving to a new city and getting my medications in order? Or is it now hair loss due to some other condition?
Sometimes it feels like my blood sugar has dropped suddenly and I feel weak and shaky, even dizzy. Yet, if I eat, the feeling is still there. I once had my blood pressure drop while I was getting a blood test done during pregnancy, and it feels sort of like that, but I don't have a way to verify that it's low blood pressure. I did feel faint Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Then it goes away. The pain in my abdomen, although subtle, is still there. It's obvious when I bend over sometimes, or after the exams I've had when someone was pressing all over my belly and pelvis. It doesn't get worse usually, just persists. So, is it something, or nothing? When is it okay to be concerned, and when do you just tell yourself you're being a hypochondriac and to relax.
I have to be concerned in some ways, mostly because it was my own persistence that got me a hypothyroidism diagnosis. I KNEW something had been wrong with me, but no doctors I saw would ever persue it. They would give me antibiotics or else tell me it's viral and there's nothing that can be done. I told one doctor that I felt like I had been sick an awfully long time and I was worried, and he just told me, "Yeah, sometimes it just hits you all at once." That's another reason it was so tough for me to leave my doctor in San Antonio, since he listened, had great intuition, and always followed through to a diagnosis. He was great. I hope my new doctor won't give up on me.
At the very least, test me until I'm sure there really isn't anything wrong.
Anyway, I am feeling a bit stressed. E has been cranky all afternoon, fussy, crying, and demanding. I guess I was due for it. He had been a real sweetiepie for days in a row this week. Just a picture perfect little boy. Gotta earn those mom wages, though.
Maybe relieving some stress will help with the weight loss I missed out on this week. I've been sticking to the plan and doing my best, but I still haven't been able to find time to exercise. Mostly I'm just imagining it will be like all the times past when E would intervene, literally tackle me to the floor, take my exercise equipment, cry until I was finished or turned of the DVD . . . It's hard to make myself ready to deal with that as well as the exercising itself. Whew . . . I'm stressed out just thinking about it.
Well, wrists and fingers getting tired. I should probably go. Maybe I'll have a warm beverage this evening and cozy up to my husband. Sounds nice.
Later, peeps. Come back again! :)
R
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